Toddler Bed

I have been putting off posting this because mentally I wasn't ready for this milestone. It happened before I knew it, but I knew it was coming.

Lily - first night in toddler bed.

We are "cribless."

I didn't really know this was a "term" until a fellow MOPS mom spoke of this almost a year ago. She had 4 kids in 5 years and it seemed her home always had a crib with a baby in it. Then her youngest moved into a bed and "before she knew it" her home was cribless. To her, in those early days, it seemed there would always be a crib with a baby in it.

At the time I heard her speak, Lily was just over 1 year old. I was struck of some day having to deal with this but put it way back in my mind because it would be something I would have to deal with much later rather than sooner.

I avoided being sad when the crib was put away after Gina moved into a bigger bed because our crib can be multiple things. When she moved into a bed I converted the crib into a day-bed for her stuffed animals and dolls... and in case she ever wanted to (needed to) go back to a crib-like setting (obviously this was more for me than her). By the time I actually took the crib down it had become something taking up space in her small room. Without it the room seemed so much bigger and I actually thought "Gee, I should have taken the crib down sooner!"

In the back of my mind I knew the crib would be set up again. I didn't know when we would have more children but I knew I wanted more.

When Lily came along, we bought bunk-beds for the girls' room. Gina enjoys the top (though that first night I suddenly realized I couldn't just jump in bed and snuggle with her and a book anymore). The bottom became home to way too many stuffed animals but was to be Lily's bed someday. The crib came back out for baby Lily.

All was well until Lily (who at 27 months is in the 95th percentile for height) started to figure out that if she put her leg up on the railing she could simply pull herself up and over. I caught her doing this two times before she fell out (thankfully!). Suddenly I knew what I had to do.

Without much fanfare, I converted the crib into a toddler bed. (The bottom bunk isn't conducive to railings which Lily needs because she sleeps all over the place and I don't want her to fall out. So I kind of... sort of... still have a crib... even if only in my not ready to move on mind.) But, any way I look at it, my home no longer has a crib in it. This means my baby is now an independent toddler.

How did she do the first night in her toddler bed? No problems. She jumped right in. Then out. Then in again. She looked at me with a face like "this is the greatest thing ever!" She slept in it all night. At some point the next afternoon I realized she must have slipped off to her room. I found her sitting on the edge of her bed as happy as can be, just kicking her legs.

I can't figure out if this is so hard for me because my kids are growing up so fast, or is it because I don't know if my house will have a crib in it again. When asked if we are going to have more kids the only thing I can say for sure is the answer isn't "no." It's "yes" one day but "maybe" the next.

This whole thing isn't about "a crib - a sleeping place for babies" but it's about the thought that no more cribs means no more babies. And that, well, makes me sad.

By the way, I swore I would never be one of those moms who got sad over milestones.........